One of the issues with Parkinson's disease is that it's quite often very visible two others. This is particular case with motor symptoms such as tremor, shuffling gait, and balance issues.

Many people will not understand why you have these impediments, and I easily jump to the conclusion or make a judgement. For example, I've heard people with PD be accused of being drunk, being overdramatic, or acting.

Many people witnessing these motor symptoms, without understanding why or what's going on, will also feel embarrassed, look on us with pity, or even feel scared.

This can create social isolation which can be very damaging to our mental health (see section 1).

I find the best solution to this is to be upfront and open. For example, I still run workshops, lead retreats, and do one-to-one coaching; and I've found that the best thing to do is to say upfront: 'By the way I have Parkinson's, so if you see my arm shaking, don't worry about it, I'm okay.'

The best approach is also one using humour, for example if I'm pouring a cup of tea in front of people and my tremor starts, I will say: 'I like my tea shaken not stirred, it saves washing up a spoon'!

Ultimately the real issue is not other people's reaction, it is our response and our own acceptance and positivity which matters.  If we have the attitude that we have some silly symptoms, but that life continues anyway, informed by more wisdom and more compassion, we will find other people's reactions change accordingly.

Kindness is a wonderful and powerful practice, that's not only benefits of the recipient of our kind actions, but benefits us too.

Compassion takes kindness a step further, by acting on our natural feelings of empathy. It takes kindness into practical action. Compassion means putting our ego aside while we focus on the other person’s problems, which may be causing unpleasant behaviours. It is a state of selfless attention to others, with an intention to help them however we can.

Like any habit, being kind, or simply wishing others well, may seem clunky at first, but as those neural pathways develop it becomes more natural.

Here are three exercises:

Exercise 1: Creating an intention

With reference to your core values, create a one-line sentence that sums up how you would like to live, in an ideal world.

From that vision, create a simple intentional statement that resonates for you. For example I often start the day with this commitment: ‘I will be kind to everyone I meet today’.

Say this to yourself every day this week, especially first thing in the morning. Recall it when responding to other people, and particularly when things get stressful 

Exercise 2: Kindness while walking

Try this whenever you walk, whether on your commute or just going to the loo. First, notice all kinds of things around you, and radiate kindness to each and every thing: a paving slab, and slug, a blackbird, the gutter, someone’s car sticker….

Now, do this with humans! As you pass someone, radiate feelings of kindness to them. You could catch their eye and smile if it feels ok to do that, but if it doesn’t feel right, just radiate the kindness anyway. Don’t choose some and leave out others, do it for everyone.

Exercise 3: Compassionate action

When you recognise that someone else is suffering distress in some way, take action.

The action can be very simple – it might just be a smile, and quick conversation to ask how they are, or maybe you give them something or do something for them, with selfless intention.

Notice how it feels once you have done this, as the feedback loop strengthens our own feel-good response, which counteracts empathy burn-out.

Here are two kindness meditations:

Loving kindness to all:

Loving kindness in 10 directions:

'A culture of kindness begins with each of us. You don’t need to wait on someone declaring it. Create it wherever you are. Be the culture.’

From the book by David Hamilton, ‘The Five Side Effects of Kindness’

Our personality or identity is a construction, a fiction, a bag of habits. It is not real, tangible or permanent.  This is our ego.  We’ve spent our whole life assembling this identity, and while the process of development continues, much of what we do and how we respond to events simply goes to reinforce what we already believe about ourselves. What we believe and perceive is our reality.

Much of our suffering comes from challenges to ‘me’, attacks on this sense of self. In particular, we may be sensitive to challenges to the ‘8 worldly concerns’ or drivers:

• material gain and loss,
• sensual pleasure and pain,
• praise and blame,
• fame and disgrace

The seeking of these objectives, or their avoidance, are mistaken for effective means to attain happiness and to avoid suffering. So it’s a good exercise to figure out what really drives you and where your sensitivities lie.

Mindfulness gives us better recognition of these challenges arising. So that when we first notice tension forming in the body in response to a challenge, there is a moment of choice. In this moment of clarity, we can acknowledge the feeling and make a more appropriate response informed by our core values.

Linked to this awareness, you need good listening skills.  When we are talking to other people, whose voice is the loudest, that of the other person or the voice in our own head? Are we interrupting them either in our head or out loud, with a response that mainly serves to boost our own ego?

Mindful communication relies on four things:

• Intention – are we clear that we are grounded in our values, such as kindness?
• Good listening – giving people the opportunity and time to respond in their own way
• Respect for other people’s views, and compassion for their own challenges (and behaviours!)
• Selflessness – being present for the other, with empathy

Recommended practices:

• Kindness meditations
• Clarifying our values  (see Values exercise pdf)
• Open awareness and listening meditation
• Practice mindful listening and compassion

Here's a listening meditation (from a live Zoom class):

A great book on listening skills is: Nancy Klein 'Time to Think'.